Happy Third Birthday to WAY TOO MUCH PORTLAND! Everyone cut yerself (wait, there’s more) a nice slab of vegan gluten-free syringe cake, pick the cigarette butts outta the PBR you talked someone else into buying for you, and talk virulent shit about your ex until you realize their new roommate and/or co-worker is sitting four feet away!
Unfortunately, this birthday also brings sad news. At the end of June, this Tumblr will be razed to the ground to make way for a bike-friendly (i.e., no parking) eight-story condo building with $1200 studios and ground-floor retail outlets hawking yarn-woven superhero cowls and artisanal, quirkily-moustachioed beeswax dildos. Talk about Keepin’ It Weird, am I right?